"I broke your nose at a mosh pit" au
“I hit you with my car and was the only one to visit you in the hospital” au
“You were chased by the cops, got in my car and just yelled ‘Drive!’” au
“You punched me in the face while gesticulating wildly to a friend” au
“You laughed in a restaurant but you have an ugly laugh and I thought you were choking, so I spent the last three minutes awkwardly humping you while performing the Heimlich maneuver” au
“We met each other on a Sunday morning, both doing our walk of shame” au
“I get really sick on roller-coasters and you had the misfortune of sitting in front of me so, uh… sorry…” au
“You’re the bastard who keeps parking right in front of my house so I retaliated by keying your car and you caught me” au
“I work at a department store and if you take out and unfold a shirt and then leave it one more time I’m going to stuff it down your throat” au
“You broke into my apartment drunk thinking it was your friend’s house and I should call the cops but my cat kinda likes you so we’re good” au
“My new dealer has friended me on Facebook and I’m unsure of how to react to that” au
“You saw me reading the same book you did and we got into a heated discussion on how much it sucks” au
“This is a five-hour-long plane ride, we’re sitting together and you’re deathly afraid of flying” au
"hey neighbor, i can’t take anymore of your constant karaoke of queen’s killer bee" au
"ok i admit i took some peaches from your tree but dude you have like hundreds growing up there" au
"sorry to interrupt but i think that man just took your wallet" au
"i accidentally threw my item into the mall water fountain, but thankfully you were there to jump in and fish it out" au
"yes that was me who fainted during the 9th grade chorus concert" au
"i met you on omegle" au
"no, no, no don’t read that note! pass it to the kid behind you!" au
"i accidentally unplugged your computer at the library instead of mine, now all your work is gone" au
"i found your lost child at the supermarket" au
"we ended up sitting next to each other on the roller coaster and holy smokes im terrified" au
"you play captain hook and i play peter pan at disney" au
"i swear to god my house is haunted can i sleep here for just one day until the ghost busters show up" au
"you dropped your wallet and i am going to go on a mission to return it to you" au
"i’m new at this bakery job and i almost burned down the place on the first day, so now you have to teach me how to bake bread" au
"please move your head i cant see the movie" au
"please, please get your dog away. oh my god. im sorry but dogs scare me so much (its a tiny boston terrier)" au
"you found my phone at the park and now im facetiming you with my friends iphone" au
"you accidentally sent this letter to my house, but im going to reply anyways" au
"your numbers graffitied in the bathroom stall and it says call for a good time so i called" au
"i found an invitation for your birthday party on the ground, even though were not friends, i’m not gonna pass up on a pizza party" au
"you tripped and knocked over my toilet paper pyramid i made at work" au
"omg i just sent my nudes to the wrong number" au
"you have fallen asleep on me on the train, but its gonna be a long ride so im just gonna get comfortable" au
"i am so sorry to interrupt you but that sweater is just… awful please take it off immediately" au
"i tried to take a sneaky picture of you but the flash went off" au
"we both got to the movie theater too late and the movie is sold out but hey maybe you want to see a different movie with me?" au
"so my friends coming here with her boyfriend and she thinks its a double date and your here all alone can you pretend to be dating me?" au
"im too scared to walk home at night and its really late so i called a random number and it happens to be yours" au
"your really hot and im really shy but im going to write my number in the latte art on your coffee" au
"oh my gosh please dont move thats my ex over there and i really dont want to see him im just gonna hide behind you till he leaves" au
"youre mowing my lawn for me and its really hot out hey want to come in for some lemonade?" au
"my friends left me here so can i hitchhike with you" au
"i wrote a little note in the book you were reading when you went to the bathroom" au
"you keep drawing dicks on the white board on my dorm door" au
"you work at the complaint office and the pringles can is way to small for my hand" au
"the teacher makes you carry my books to my next class for me because i broke my arm" au
"this elevator just broke down and youre having a panic attack so im trying to calm you down" au
"you gave my son an f in gym" au
"our planes are delayed at, its like 2 am and i noticed you have like seven pillows can i please please borrow one?" au
"im the plaintiff lawyer and youre the defendant lawyer" au
"my television is broken and im missing my favorite show and when you fix it you see its also your favorite show so hey wanna watch with me?" au
"this bank is currently being robbed and we are lying on the ground next to each other" au
"i accidentally made you cry because i was too cruel about the coffee you made me" au
"i can tell you dont understand this math problem by how red and frustrated you are getting need help?" au
"you spilled your beer on my shirt at this concert and now you have to buy me a new tee" au
"we met each other through online mario kart" au
"we both work together at mcdonalds and its like 1am" au
"your a photographer and your taking pictures of my cat that i dressed in a suit" au
"you make my caricature at the fair and you made my ears really big i wanna refund" au
"we are at a mutual friends sleepover and we dont really know each other but we have to share the bed" au
"dude your blasting your music waaaay too lou- wait a minute is that guitar hero?" au
"you are wearing a free kisses shirt" au
"i was only going like 5 miles over the speed limit" au
"i pushed you in a pool because i thought it was funny but now i can see that you do not know how to swim" au
"i found your other walkie talkie at the park and now we are chatting" au
"i accidentally got onto the wrong train and i have no idea where i am can you please help me?" au
"you fell asleep on the stores bed and its like 2 am now its time to wake you up" au
"im sorry to interrupt but did you just say you never saw breaking bad?!" au
"okay you have really pretty eyelashes i just thought you should know" au
"im in some sort of unspoken christmas lights contest with you" au
"we look at each other everytime some one says something stupid in class" au
"its dark and i cannot find my way out of this corn maze, lets try to get out together" au
"i lost my dog" au
"can i draw you?" au
"you took my seat at the movie theater" au
"you left your diary behind at the library" au
"caught on the kiss cam" au
"the apartment building is on fire and it is freezing cold and snowing outside so lets share this blanket" au
"im clinging onto you in this haunted house" au
"your humming the holla back girl tune quite loudly and i start to sing under my breath with you" au
"the hotel ruined the bookings so now we have to room together" au
"you built a fort in the hotel lobby at 2 am and it looked really awesome and i really wanna join" au
"i saw your selfie as the background of the ipad at the apple store and i thought you were really hot, then i noticed you were across the other side of the store" au
"i got you for secret santa but i dont know anything about you so i got you a pair of socks and i feel really bad as you open it" au
"i dont have a ride home from work so you offer to drive me but the car breaks down" au